The Real Recipe for Wellbeing: Your Body, Your Wallet, Your Boundaries - with Alexandra Dotcheva

0:00 So we talk a lot about mindfulness these days, like

0:04 slowing down, being present, finding calm.

0:07 But what about the other parts that make your person a whole?

0:11 The body, the confidence, the financial freedom that lets you

0:15 live life on your own terms. So my guest today, Alexandra

0:19 Tocheva, doesn't just talk about balance.

0:22 She lives it. From music to medicine, fitness

0:25 to finance, she's built her life around the idea that true

0:29 well-being means taking care of every part of who you are.

0:35 Welcome to the show Mind Blend. I'm your host, Karen Chong, and

0:39 I'll be diving into the minds of incredible people, each an

0:42 expert in their very own way. Together, we'll uncover insights

0:46 and share ideas so you can be inspired and empowered to

0:50 navigate your own unique journey in life.

0:53 Ready to get curious and discover what's possible?

0:55 Let's blend. Hi Alexandra, welcome to Mind

1:01 Blend. Thank you so much for having me,

1:03 Karen. Pleasure to be here.

1:05 So in the intro, I've said many things that don't seem to belong

1:10 in the same sentence, like what do you mean music to medicine

1:14 and fitness to finance? Can you share a little bit about

1:18 your journey, how you got to what you're doing today?

1:22 Absolutely. Of course.

1:23 Well, I was a musician, professionally trained physician

1:26 for 29 years of my life, and then I switched to nursing.

1:30 I'm a registered nurse. I got this education in the

1:33 United States and I came from Bulgaria to the United States

1:37 initially as a violent student and then once I entered the

1:41 workforce as a nurse. And so how most of the nurses

1:45 lived, I decided I also had to learn how to be financially

1:49 independent. And that's when I got

1:52 simultaneously into real estate investing and created a

1:55 gradually 3 real estate parental businesses.

1:58 And the coaching part came last because I, I published a book in

2:03 2021. It's called, it really is

2:05 Simple, A Holistic approach to self-confidence, which I thought

2:09 was very important because I started from a very, very

2:12 unconfident individual and I build the confidence with

2:17 getting into all these different aspects of knowledge which I

2:20 never believed I could. And then the coaching business

2:24 naturally came into existence as well.

2:27 So today, are you more focused on the coaching business?

2:30 Are you still doing nursing? I am, because it's very

2:34 important to learn what to avoid in medicine, and I learned

2:37 tremendously from my patients. I can stop working at any time I

2:41 choose, but I know I can fall into old, lazy patterns very

2:46 easily. So I don't allow myself to quit

2:48 quite yet. But I can, because the real

2:51 estate investment businesses have flourished amazingly well.

2:54 I am so glad to hear that I'm jealous, but I'm also very glad

2:59 to hear that you don't have to be working, but you're still

3:01 doing it. So I want to ask you a little

3:03 bit more. Why nursing from being a

3:07 musician? Because when the financial

3:10 crisis hits America in between 2006 and 2008, when the

3:15 orchestra started bankrupting left and right, I had to face

3:19 the fact that I was not at the level of Ana Sufi Motel or Yo-yo

3:22 Ma, the cello, you know? Equivalent to.

3:24 Many, many other amazing musicians.

3:27 I was not competitive enough and I had been struggling with

3:31 pretty, pretty heavy stage fright for well over 15 years at

3:35 a time. And I also wanted to feel

3:38 useful, which I wasn't as a musician.

3:40 When I was 32 in 2008, I had spent eleven years in college

3:45 plus twelve additional years in a specialized music school.

3:48 So I wanted to feel useful and I wanted a career that didn't

3:52 require additional 11 years of school and career that was in

3:56 demand. Plus I always loved biology as a

3:59 child. I just never had the opportunity

4:02 to develop that love because I was very narrowly specialized as

4:06 a musician, so that's why I chose nursing.

4:09 Wow, That's an acute turn from a musician to nursing.

4:12 Yeah. Do you remember, like, what was

4:16 the mental burden or what you had to overcome to take that

4:21 leap? Yes ma'am, that's something that

4:23 to forget, I have to develop very heavy Alzheimer's.

4:26 I will never forget that feeling in the vacuum I felt for a week

4:30 or so when I decided to drastically switch careers into

4:34 nursing. Because when it hits you on the

4:37 head that you are really useless of what you have been doing for

4:40 almost 30 years, it's a very heavy feeling of an

4:43 accomplishment. You criticize yourself for not

4:46 having faced it earlier, which I knew it five years prior to

4:50 taking the decision, becoming a nurse, but I just wasn't

4:54 courageous enough and honest enough with myself that things

4:57 weren't going to get better. But I had to take the change

5:01 myself and it was personal responsibility.

5:03 It's a very heavy feeling for quite some time until you settle

5:07 into it. And I remember playing these

5:10 concerts for the week or 10 days after I switched to deciding

5:13 that I had to do something different in my life.

5:16 And so I was playing these beautiful pieces, music

5:19 classics, you know, it made zero sense to me.

5:21 I felt completely out of place on stage among my fellow

5:24 musicians. I see.

5:26 Yeah, like your your body is playing it but your heart is not

5:29 in it type situation. Wow, that's tough.

5:33 But you took the courage. You took the lead and you

5:36 entered the nursing world. Describe this different world

5:39 that you see and how it changed you.

5:42 It was a great cultural shock for sure.

5:44 The first the first couple of years the learning was extremely

5:47 exciting. I excelled at all the classes

5:50 because I was studying 12 to 13 hours a day.

5:52 I basically turned the hours of my violin practice into studying

5:55 the textbooks. I pre ramped many textbooks 2

5:58 three times before the classes even started because I had no

6:01 scientific basis, let alone in English.

6:04 But once I entered the workforce and I saw how there were more

6:11 nurses and doctors that I could count that carried every disease

6:16 known to men, yet they were allowing themselves to educate

6:18 others how to live healthy. The hypocrisy of the healthcare

6:22 system. The horrific and healthy food

6:24 that was served to patients and their visitors in the hospitals

6:29 and the entire culture of keeping patients chronically

6:33 sick by disease management rather than disease reversal and

6:38 how they were made permanent financial assets to the

6:41 healthcare system. So there were lots of aha

6:44 moments. I first entered a workforce as a

6:47 nurse. Of course, it helped with my

6:49 partner, my amazing, you know, boyfriend of so many years now.

6:53 He was a nurse of 15 years at the time, and he helped me see

6:58 all these things that I probably would have taken me four or five

7:01 years to see because I was naive enough to believe that it was

7:04 wonderful the way the healthcare system was designed and to help

7:07 people and all that. Yes and no, and mostly no,

7:11 unfortunately. Yeah, The thing is, you're part

7:14 of it too, because you live in the United States.

7:18 Yes. The responsibility that comes

7:20 with that, yeah. Like, and it's not just

7:23 responsibility, it's if you were to get sick you would get the

7:27 same treatment. Right did.

7:29 That open your eyes up. Very much so, yes.

7:31 Yes, very much so. So that's when I switched to

7:34 home care nursing. So I could actually see the

7:36 patient one-on-one much more frequently than in the hospital,

7:40 in a slightly better mental state for the patient when

7:43 they're in their house on their turf than in the hospital when

7:46 they're really acutely sick. Of course, not that the

7:48 hospitals don't discharge patients prematurely all the

7:51 time, but still the patient is under control in their house and

7:56 I can educate much more effectively.

7:58 And of course, the whole revelation of how the healthcare

8:01 system worked prompt me very quickly to truly live by what I

8:06 preached, because otherwise I will never have credibility.

8:09 So I completely refined my diet, my fitness routines.

8:12 Of course, I was doing martial arts at the time for quite some

8:15 time already, But the diet, the exercise routine, and then of

8:20 course the mental health also had to be refined to the point

8:24 where I it truly could convince people that things can be much

8:27 better under their control by giving them leading by example

8:31 of what I was doing. Can you tell us a little more

8:35 about how you are optimizing your health?

8:39 Yes. So I mean, truthfully, in 2000 I

8:42 was 24 when I stopped eating all sorts of animals.

8:45 I mean, but actually fish I ate at the time, but mammals and

8:50 poultry because I turned to yoga before I became a martial artist

8:54 and I said, OK, I'm going to become a vegetarian because fish

8:57 is healthy and all that stuff, right?

8:59 But I eventually realized all the toxins operating the animals

9:03 and not just the farm raised animals with all the drugs, but

9:07 also the ocean leadfish because of the contamination of the

9:10 ocean elastic mercury radiation in the Pacific Ocean from the

9:13 ocean of planet disaster. So you have to face these truths

9:17 and connect the dots. And then my boyfriend

9:19 unfortunately developed pre diabetes and he had had high

9:22 blood pressure since age 32 with very high cholesterol, which he

9:26 attributed to hereditary factors.

9:28 And then we started talking, OK, you inherit some

9:31 predispositions, but also the lifestyle of those people who

9:34 made them, they made them sick. And so when he developed the pre

9:37 diabetes, that got him really, really concerned.

9:40 And then I said, OK, so let's go plant this.

9:43 Let's let's trying vegan and not processed vegan products but

9:48 organic whole from the soil. We prepare it, we ditch all the

9:52 restaurant food, stop eating out and all that stuff and watch how

9:57 in 3-4 months his hemoglobin A1C fell to way under normal pre

10:03 diabetic level. So he was no longer pre

10:04 diabetic. And then he said I'm sticking to

10:07 that diet. I said who the heck you are and

10:09 I'm with you. And he actually quit all the

10:12 animal products completely cold Turkey.

10:14 He hadn't stopped eating mammals and poultry 17 years before

10:18 becoming vegan like I did. He stopped completely cold

10:21 Turkey and we've been extremely healthy since.

10:24 It's been 8 years already, whole organic vegan.

10:27 So that was the nutrition aspect of the optimization.

10:31 Well, good, good job. Like, kudos to that.

10:34 And because you're in the nursing field, the medical

10:36 field, because you, you see the damage that it's doing to

10:40 people. When I was living in the States,

10:42 I also learn more vegan because for some reason, you could say

10:47 it's media, but I just had no desire to touch animal products

10:52 because of all the stories that I've heard.

10:54 Oh yeah, yeah. And also the processed food.

10:57 Now that I live in the UK, the food is less processed.

11:01 There's less additives to it. Not to say that it's completely

11:04 whole, but I see the difference already.

11:07 The same tub of yogurt, the sugar content is still more, The

11:12 calories is still more in the state.

11:14 So fortunate for me, I have more access to less processed food

11:18 now. But a lot of our listeners do

11:21 live in this state, so that was a hell of aspect.

11:24 What are the other aspects in your optimization?

11:27 Fitness, fitness. I have very stiff fitness

11:31 routines. Since I was a martial artist.

11:34 I learned a lot about cardio and weight lifting and so I do very

11:37 heavy routines, two, 2 1/2 hours a day, four to five days a week.

11:42 And I'm very strong on high resistance cardio and and my own

11:49 weight lifting. Like I love to do 80 to 100 pull

11:52 ups within a single gym session. It really it takes a lot of

11:58 discipline and you construct a way to do as many compound

12:02 exercises as possible because they're truly the ones that are

12:05 the hardest because they address the maximum amount of muscle

12:08 groups in the single exercise. I don't isolate muscle groups,

12:12 if that makes sense, because it's just not a whole approach

12:14 to fitness. But also they're very demanding

12:18 exercises and they are excellent for building a harmonious body,

12:24 strong in every aspect. I'm a huge on lung power and

12:27 hard power and agility endurance, endurance because I'm

12:33 49, I'll be 50 early next year. And I really absolutely have no

12:38 intentional succumbing to the notion that all we are with age,

12:40 we have to slow down. On the contrary, you have to

12:42 speed up because you have to serve as an example to those who

12:46 won't slow down because if you slow down, you will die sooner

12:50 rather than later. So it's it's really about

12:53 keeping the vitality of your body, but it has to be truly,

12:56 truly, truly underlined with excellent clean nutrition.

13:00 And I just can't say enough that whole organic plants don't do to

13:05 people what's animal products too, because they don't they

13:09 don't develop chronic diseases. I have been a nurse for over 15

13:13 years now and my boyfriend has been a nurse for 32 years.

13:17 We haven't had a single patient who is a whole food organic

13:21 vegan in our entire practice. Like 0.

13:24 Zero, right? So what does that tell you?

13:28 People like call for organic Venus.

13:31 We just don't get sick as readily as other people do.

13:34 Can we get into a car accident? Absolutely.

13:36 But that's an acute condition. Yeah, that's a very good

13:38 chronic. Conditions that keep you sick

13:41 for decades. Decades doesn't happen.

13:44 It's just I'm yet to see one. Yeah, chronic diseases.

13:48 There's something unnatural about it to abuse most of.

13:51 Them are man made. Yeah, absolutely.

13:54 Absolutely. Yeah, like I have recently heard

13:58 a lot more emphasis on strength, like strength building.

14:02 So it used to be like cardio, cardio, cardio, and then you

14:06 know how there's different trends.

14:08 And then more recently there's more focus on like strength

14:11 training. What's your view on cardio in

14:15 combination with strength training?

14:17 That's what I do every day. Yes, absolutely.

14:20 Each has a place in your in your body, in your fatality.

14:24 Cardio. I'm adamant about cardio.

14:26 I see tons of weight literatures that dread cardio because they

14:29 don't like to sweat as much as cardio will make them sweat.

14:32 And then they're afraid they'll lose their muscle mass if they

14:34 don't do cardio. I mean, that's just dumb.

14:37 You have to train your heart for endurance.

14:40 You need to kind of nourish these primal instincts that we

14:44 had to run really fast from bad animals in order to eat us.

14:49 And that was in Africa. People who used to, to hunt for

14:53 their food. There was no morbid obesity.

14:56 There was no nothing like the diseases of contemporary wealthy

15:00 people and the advanced and developed world like type 2

15:05 diabetes, cancer. These are the most profitable

15:08 diseases and they stick with that for for the rest of your

15:11 life, say, oh, you're going to maintain it, you'll never heal.

15:14 That's, that's, you know, nonsense.

15:16 So weight lifting for bone strength, for muscle strength

15:20 and cardio for heart and lungs. And you can combine, there are

15:25 weight lifting exercises that are also excellent cardio

15:28 exercises. I mean the brain, it does

15:30 tremendous amount of work during fitness to do it right and to

15:34 not hurt yourself and to get the benefit of the exercise rather

15:38 than harm yourself with it or get no benefit whatsoever.

15:40 Because there are three possible outcomes of exercises.

15:44 Benefit, no benefit or no result at all.

15:47 Benefit, harm or no result at all.

15:48 So it's your choice what to do and how focused you are during

15:51 each fitness session. Because I'm sure when you go

15:54 through the fitness, you've seen lots of people who just go

15:56 through the motions, like just to score presence there.

16:01 But you can tell when somebody's exercising with intensity and

16:05 somebody is going through the motions.

16:07 So it's easy to spot the people who are truly dedicated.

16:11 Yeah, the form is important. You see people doing planks, but

16:15 it's they're it's. Not.

16:16 Flat at all? It's like, what do you call them

16:20 slides? Like their butt is always.

16:23 So yeah, form. Doing it intentionally with the

16:26 right form is more important than just being at the gym and

16:29 like running on the treadmill. But you're not really doing it

16:32 properly. So do you have clients that come

16:36 to you for your coaching around the nutrition and fitness

16:41 aspect? Well, I do because in nursing,

16:44 you know, you have, you supposedly you know all these

16:46 things if you're self disciplined and practice what

16:49 you preach. I also am very big on functional

16:51 medicine, so endocrine health and ill health and the gut

16:56 health that most regular practitioners don't focus on at

17:01 all because it treats treats symptoms rather than doing these

17:04 more sophisticated labs to tell the person how their gut is

17:07 working or not working and then how that affects their immune

17:10 system and their hormones. It's a huge, huge field, growing

17:14 field right now, which is fascinating.

17:16 That's absolutely not something that I learned in nursing

17:19 school. So the desire to develop

17:21 yourself attracts different types of clients and patients in

17:25 your practice. And but see with my coaching,

17:28 because I insist that people not only optimize their health, but

17:31 also learn how to invest in tangible assets to optimize

17:35 their financial health. If they want to be my clients, I

17:39 want them to understand that everything is connected in life,

17:42 health, wealth and relationships.

17:46 Extremely important because your health decisions are very, very

17:50 vastly influenced by the people you're are around, not just the

17:53 ones in your house, but at your workplace and the your choices

17:56 of friends to socialize with. So we address all these factors

18:00 because people get influenced by the wrong people with best

18:03 intentions all the time and and that's not making the best

18:07 decisions for themselves. And then they wonder why they're

18:09 sick and why they're poor and why they're unsatisfied with

18:13 life. So it's much more than just the

18:15 health aspect in the holistic self-confidence approach.

18:19 Yeah, let's dive into this economic side of how someone can

18:24 live the fulfilling life. So, tangible asset, what are

18:27 some examples of tangible asset that you teach people?

18:30 These are assets that you can touch, you can see, you can

18:33 hear, and you can fix. I'm very heavily invested in

18:37 real estate, obviously, because that is the best tangible asset

18:41 you can acquire and it's still pretty affordable if you have

18:45 the discipline in the plan, how to and and knowledge how to

18:48 chase the deals that are truly affordable that will make your

18:51 money right from the start the moment you purchase.

18:54 OK, so that was another learning curve of course, that I had to

18:57 undertake that lots of people don't want to undertake,

19:00 unfortunately, and they invest in so-called easy stuff like

19:04 volatile fake assets in the stock market.

19:06 And, and I'm not saying that the stock market doesn't have its

19:09 place, but it just said that many financial coaches, they

19:12 really focus on the stock market aspects and never mention owning

19:19 real estate to increase not only your net worth, but like if

19:24 monthly secure cash flow when you manage assets appropriately.

19:28 And it just boggles my mind because it's just so obvious in

19:33 plain sight. You can buy it in your own

19:35 neighborhood. You can buy it in the

19:37 neighboring neighborhood and manage this thing and have this

19:41 cash flowing assets for life and for generations, not just for

19:46 the time being. And the financial aspect is

19:50 important because it gives you choices.

19:53 It strengthens your ability to be astute about your habits.

19:59 It straightens your spending tendencies if you want to learn

20:04 because if you start from knowers where I did because when

20:07 I came to this country, I had nothing but like very big hopes

20:10 on student visa. OK.

20:12 So I'm not somebody who was here in the tons of cash periodically

20:17 and. I had no idea about finances can

20:20 just like I have no idea about science when I started nursing.

20:23 So that's why I tell all my students in the readers in my

20:27 book, if I could do it, anybody can because I was the person who

20:30 never believed I could learn anything besides music because I

20:33 had not progressed the way I wanted for 29 years.

20:36 I never thought I could progress in anything else since I had put

20:39 so much time and effort into a career that wasn't successful.

20:43 And you know, here I am today financially independent.

20:45 So if I can do it, anybody can. But tangible assets are that

20:49 assets that you can touch, you can see, you can visit, OK, that

20:54 those are tangible assets. So for Someone Like You

20:57 mentioned, not everyone is have this mindset, they may want to

21:01 do the easy stuff. What are some of the things that

21:04 you normally start telling them to open their minds and start to

21:10 consider tangible assets? I ask open-ended question as to

21:14 what their goals are within the next 10 to 15 years because

21:18 people want the quick fix but they rarely think about long

21:21 term, which is a huge mistake. The people that are tremendously

21:24 financially successful really start with the long term goals

21:27 first because that'll give them a much broader picture of they

21:31 want to accomplish in life and how fast they want to accomplish

21:34 it. That's the other question, and

21:36 most people, you'll find they've never thought about this at all

21:39 because they're just unhappy with their current miserable job

21:42 situation and they want out as soon as possible.

21:45 So then we talk about career choices.

21:47 That's the other very important aspect, financial prosperity,

21:50 because you need to be useful to society and appreciate it and

21:55 sought after to have this income at first that will be keeping

21:59 your float very well while you collect money to invest in

22:03 tangible assets. And that whole connection that

22:06 people rarely see how a valuable they can be with the career that

22:12 they are currently in, if only they choose to do so because you

22:16 chose a career for a reason. Now, if you chose your career

22:18 for all the wrong reasons, we're going to discuss that too, OK?

22:23 But the money has to come from somewhere for your tangible

22:26 assets. Unless you're willing to pursue

22:29 seller finance deals for a very long time and start with minimal

22:33 cash flow. If you don't think any mortgage

22:35 or down payment on your first property or second and third

22:37 property, well, that's requires a whole different set of skills.

22:41 OK, so the mindset is really depending on your goals that you

22:47 and your responsibility to think about these goals.

22:50 And how do I know that? Because it was very hard for me

22:53 too. I, I read like 10 stuff, like

22:55 almost 10 confidence building books and success books.

22:58 And lo and behold, they all talked about five year tenure

23:02 and 15 year goals to write them down or read them regularly.

23:06 That's used to aggravate the heck out of me because it was a

23:09 different sort of independent thinking responsibility that

23:13 wasn't tied to what other people's thought about taught

23:15 you and their advice and everything.

23:16 You have to actually figure it out yourself.

23:18 And it's hard. It's very hard when you have

23:20 lived under the influence of other people's opinions for

23:23 decades. That's what changed you to your

23:26 current way of living. And once I help people

23:29 understand that it's a very liberating thing and yet more

23:33 responsibility and obligation towards yourself and your

23:36 integrity. And then the the brain unplugs

23:40 you release the brakes and you create these goals.

23:43 And then they realize the value of tangible assets versus the

23:46 other assets that are much more volatile.

23:48 And they'll learn strategies in either environment.

23:52 But then they are willing to dedicate the time to learning

23:55 and investing in themselves in the 1st place with financial

23:58 education. Yeah, like it's very important

24:01 to make your clients aware. And also they themselves need to

24:06 buy into it because you're not there 24/7.

24:09 You're not there to watch their every move, watch everything

24:13 they eat. Like you're not their trainer in

24:15 the gym. So they really have to be that

24:17 themselves. So while you were answering, you

24:21 mentioned about living under other people's opinions.

24:24 And earlier you mentioned that you had really low

24:27 self-confidence. I want to see how you built the

24:32 confidence. I build the confidence by

24:37 getting really sick of my own lack of confidence, And every

24:40 major decision I made was faced with a lot of skepticism from

24:44 the closest people, like changing careers, go to nursing

24:47 school. Yeah.

24:48 Oh, it's a very hard profession. Yes, it is.

24:50 And that's the point right before the nursing was the

24:53 karate, the martial arts, I, I practiced several martial arts.

24:56 But when I started martial arts, which was something I really

24:59 dreamed of since I was nine years old, but it was completely

25:02 suppressed in the family because I was a violinist.

25:04 And how can I do martial arts? My fingers, right?

25:07 No way. But that was badly surprised

25:09 when I was a child, because in Eastern Europe some parents came

25:13 to be very blunt with their opinions and hurtful, sometimes

25:17 with the best intentions. So then the martial arts was met

25:22 with a lot of skepticism. I did it regardless.

25:25 One of the best decisions of my life for confidence building.

25:28 Then changing careers. Skepticism from everybody.

25:32 Best decision of my life for confidence building because

25:34 changing careers you can boost your confidence like you can't

25:38 imagine. Of course, you need five to

25:39 seven years to appreciate that this is the starting point.

25:42 Then real estate, tons of cosmeticism from France.

25:46 Oh yeah, you lose your money. It's very risky.

25:49 Well, people who don't take risks don't go anywhere in life.

25:53 Another one of my best decisions of my life.

25:56 So you have to counter the opinions if you are deeply,

26:00 deeply convinced that you're curious enough to take the risk,

26:05 so curious that it makes you excited to take the risk

26:07 regardless of the consequences. And that's how you battle low

26:12 self esteem. And to hell with it, I'll take

26:15 the risk, I'll jump in that huge crevasse whatever, and see what

26:20 happens. Of course educate yourself

26:22 beforehand, but the real situation will show you that you

26:26 can never educate yourself enough.

26:28 And that's why you'll learn for the rest of your life.

26:31 Lifelong learning, and that's how you learn to really solve

26:34 problems. Yeah.

26:36 For real. And first of all and foremost

26:39 your own problems with your mindset.

26:42 And then everything else falls into place.

26:44 And then you can teach others how to solve problems.

26:46 But you don't tell people how to solve problems unless you have

26:50 solved your own problems 1st. And that's what builds

26:54 credibility. Yeah, you also mentioned it

26:58 earlier. Like, you have to practice what

27:00 you preach. So that's why you're doing all

27:03 these things that you're coaching your clients on.

27:06 And you said when you moved to the States, you had nothing.

27:11 And I'm sure you had a lot of fear and anxiety.

27:14 How did that motivate you? At the time, I didn't have a lot

27:19 of fear. And exactly, I was young.

27:20 I was 24. You, you barely know anything

27:24 about life when you're 24. So you're just excited.

27:26 You're just excited, full of and then life starts hitting you on

27:30 the hands one piece at a time. Reality, reality.

27:34 Especially understanding the limits of your own capabilities

27:38 and how to go around them. That takes a lot of courage and

27:42 learning and trial and error. So I wasn't really that anxious

27:48 when I came here. I was excited, but the anxiety

27:50 came when I saw that I wasn't progressing the way I wanted

27:54 through my masters and doctoral degrees.

27:55 I mean, I was giving decent recitals.

27:58 I was succeeding academically. But when it came to orchestral

28:00 editions, the feuds paralyzed me on the stage behind the curtain.

28:06 And that that was where fear and anxiety became very obvious to

28:11 me, that I had to do something about it to make it work in my

28:16 favor instead of against me. But with the violin, I had

28:20 already accumulated a lot of really, really bad history.

28:24 And much as it seems very hard and scary to completely change

28:29 fields, I opted for that for my own benefit, to start completely

28:34 from zero in the field where nobody knew me and I didn't know

28:38 anybody. So I could prove myself from

28:40 Ground Zero up. And that worked for me better

28:43 than trying to be the dead horse with the other career that had

28:48 taken 2629 years of my life by the time I already entered the

28:52 workforce as a nurse. So this type of anxiety helped

28:57 me actually rebuild myself. I'm really, really glad to hear

29:01 that because that's not the case nowadays with a lot of cases of

29:06 anxiety. It paralyzes us, so it makes us

29:09 defenseless even like we can't. We can't do anything to help

29:13 ourselves. And that is because most people

29:16 refuse to really understand their anxiety.

29:19 What do you mean they? Look at it very superficially.

29:22 What scares them? And then they run away from it.

29:24 But why does it scare you? Is this rational?

29:27 Is it completely irrational? And how can you benefit from the

29:31 anxiety when it tells you that 90% of what you're afraid of is

29:35 things that you know you should have been doing and you're not

29:38 doing? So that's when anxiety becomes

29:41 your ally. It becomes a friend.

29:43 But you have to understand it so you're understanding yourself.

29:47 I practice meditation several times a day now.

29:50 The anxiety is not an issue anymore.

29:52 It hasn't been for a very long time, but it was like seemingly

29:55 forever. And when I when I understood

29:59 that anxiety was telling me something important about

30:01 myself, and when I finally became willing to listen to what

30:06 actually telling and face it, then it started becoming more

30:10 and more under my control. To briefly describe how you

30:15 overcome it, is it more you learn to cohabit with your

30:19 anxiety and sort of like, OK, I I hear you, but now I need to

30:25 focus on this important thing in my life.

30:27 Would you equate it with that? Yes, to a great extent, because

30:30 anxiety tells you what the things you should, the actions

30:33 you should have taken that you haven't yet.

30:34 So when you see a problem, you don't procrastinate, you just

30:37 solve it right away, start working towards solution,

30:40 achieve the solution, then face the next problem.

30:43 And the more problems you solve of your own and then help other

30:46 people solve their problems by seeing their perspective, the

30:49 more in control you are of your anxiety.

30:51 And then eventually it, which is kind of almost ceases to exist.

30:55 It's a very mild level which is necessary for learning.

30:58 Yeah, OK. But when you solve things one at

31:02 a time and then collectively everything that gives you

31:05 confidence because OK, there is a big problem seemingly now

31:08 something very annoying, very distressful, but OK, I've solved

31:11 50 problems like that. Yeah.

31:14 So there is no reason I won't solve this one.

31:16 Let's get it done. Done.

31:17 That's it. Yeah, there is no more anxiety,

31:20 but people run away from problems and they don't realize

31:23 life is all about solving problems.

31:25 Yeah. Not necessarily creating them,

31:28 but solving them because there are plenty of people who create

31:30 problems for you. So you can be very confident

31:33 that people will help you in that way.

31:35 So the way you react to it though is what's important in

31:39 your anxiety control. Think about how much you grow

31:43 after solving 10 problems, 20 problems, 50 problems.

31:46 So we have talked about so many things in life, like each one of

31:51 moments can be like a whole series that's.

31:54 True, that's true. So for someone who isn't in the

31:59 best health shape, may not be in the best financial circumstance,

32:05 may not be in like the right mental Wellness, what's the

32:10 first step they should take if they do want to improve their

32:14 holistic well-being? They need to sit and honestly

32:19 discuss what they want to achieve with their health,

32:21 finances, relationships and everything.

32:23 Because once you have a clear picture insight, then you can

32:26 act on it and you're less overwhelmed.

32:30 But yes, you have to tackle everything if it's all a

32:32 problem. If you neglect one thing, the

32:35 other ones won't progress properly because they're going

32:37 to be on the back of your mind. OK, so I'm working on my health,

32:39 but I don't have money for basic necessities.

32:41 So we have a problem here. We have to tailor your health

32:45 routine and your nutrition. And there are extremely cheap

32:48 problems that are highly nutritious.

32:50 When you cook them, they expand threefold.

32:53 Beans and grains and legumes and grains come to mind.

32:56 Organic with tons of minerals and vitamins and nutrition in

33:00 them. So we, we start with the

33:02 easiest. My principle in a vegan that is

33:05 you start simple and you keep it simple.

33:08 It it's never worked better finances.

33:10 It's a little bit harder to apply that approach, but we

33:13 tackle everything because if you are in poor health, that means

33:16 you're paying a lot of money for medical bills and medications.

33:18 So we need to create a financial strategy for you as well.

33:22 And many people who are very sick, they also tend to smoke a

33:25 lot because that's type of a stress relief and that a lot of

33:28 their paycheck goes there, right there in the cigarettes.

33:30 So I mean, tons of habits like that, you know, coping

33:34 mechanisms that are really counter mechanisms.

33:36 Unfortunately, they don't create any productive results.

33:40 So if they're willing to face these problems, they will solve

33:43 them. And they already know the

33:45 answers to most questions. You.

33:47 Just gently lead them towards them, but let them discover that

33:51 so it's their idea rather than yours as a coach and things fall

33:56 into place. But you have to tackle it all at

33:58 once, unfortunately. I mean, you can start easily in

34:02 each aspects, but each aspect has to be addressed because

34:06 they're connected. And once they see the

34:08 connection, it's a big aha moment because they'll realize

34:12 how fixing all of these will help all of these

34:14 simultaneously, and there is less resistance than to the work

34:18 that has to be done by them. Well, so many golden Nuggets of

34:22 information in this episode. Thank you.

34:25 Thank you. Thank you so much.

34:27 So for this last part, let's play a game.

34:29 Rapid fire questions. OK, let's see, I'll have to.

34:34 Just get reaction. Imagine yourself waking up one

34:38 day low on energy. What do you do?

34:41 What's your go to fix? Oh, I take a cold shower

34:44 immediately and I do 100 squats with my own weight.

34:47 Fast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I tried that.

34:50 I tried the ice bath last week. I can see the benefit of it.

34:55 No, no. Go into the cold shower for

34:57 three minutes. You will not have low energy

34:59 after that. That's a really good tip.

35:02 OK, next one. What's a healthy habit that you

35:05 secretly think is overrated? Overrated kiddo diet.

35:13 It's a another excellent excuse for eating crap as far as I'm

35:16 concerned. Yeah, great.

35:21 Good thing I'm not on it. So when it comes to health,

35:27 people think about like detox too.

35:29 We haven't talked about it in this episode, but I know you're

35:31 a proponent of detoxing. What is a detox?

35:35 What should people detox from that has nothing to do with

35:39 food? Well, heavy metals, right?

35:45 You have plastic components, you have decreasing glutathione from

35:48 your liver with age. There are also any medications,

35:53 air toxins, water toxins, full house water filtration system,

35:58 osmosis filter and whatnot. But the foods themselves, even

36:03 in the organic industry, that's growing like crazy and starting

36:06 to cut corners. The food also has toxins.

36:08 Your head's excluding from food. But I mean, you eat food

36:12 everyday. So I do detox everyday.

36:15 I'm a huge proponent for the detox.

36:17 Yes. And there are many ways to

36:18 detox. I have chosen A relatively

36:21 inexpensive way that I discuss in a great extent in the 7th

36:25 chapter of my book, which is all about detoxification.

36:28 But you can't ignore the fact that you're exposed to between

36:33 20,000 and 2 million toxins every day.

36:37 Wow. It's a huge number and it is

36:40 unavoidable. Unfortunately, we can't avoid

36:42 it. OK, so much as we try.

36:43 Of course, we've minimized all chemical exposures in our house

36:46 and whatnot, but if you walk around in the real world, you

36:50 get toxins and the whole thing is with your body.

36:55 It's is so overwhelmed that your liver, which serves well over

37:00 200 functions in your body, has to be supported on a daily basis

37:05 to perform at its best. SO glutathione increase is one

37:08 of your best focuses. Then cleaning antioxidants from

37:11 your body is a huge focus as well.

37:13 And then of course, if you have a specific overwhelm that you

37:16 know through very specific labs, you have to focus on that too.

37:20 And lots of people don't know because they function at high

37:23 capacity, but like almost at high stress modes, survival

37:27 modes, and most of us do that without realizing it, and

37:31 sometimes in backfires very, very badly as we age.

37:35 So you have to be mindful of these things.

37:37 So I'd love to discuss immune function, hormone function, gut

37:41 health. These are the things that are

37:43 extremely interconnected that your regular doctor won't tell

37:46 you about at all, because the doctors themselves don't eat

37:49 healthy and they don't pay attention to these things.

37:51 They didn't learn about these intimate interconnections in

37:54 your body and mental health in medical school because it all

37:58 focuses on pharmaceutical drugs, right?

38:00 It's the pharmaceutical companies that determine fee

38:02 curriculum of the contemporary doctors.

38:05 So none of this is addressed, unfortunately.

38:07 And these connections are rarely explained to the doctors.

38:10 They're even more seldom explained to the patients

38:13 themselves. And then you have doctors that

38:15 are very tight specialists. They only focus on their field

38:19 and they rarely communicate with the other doctors for the

38:22 patient. And the patient has 6 or 7

38:24 specialists. That's a disaster picture right

38:27 there. And lots of my patients are like

38:29 this. And it's just very, very sad

38:31 because you know how we used to have these general practitioners

38:35 when we were growing up. They used.

38:36 So much more than today's general practitioners and they

38:40 are just amazing at connecting body systems and that doesn't

38:43 exist anymore or it's very rarely seen.

38:46 And this is where patients are so responsible for their old

38:50 health. 100% of duty education and be willing to research and

38:55 constantly question what they're told by the so-called

38:58 authorities. OK, because we know what

39:00 happened when the authorities told us to lock ourselves in our

39:02 homes and take a highly toxic drug that killed more people

39:07 than it's helped. OK.

39:09 So thankfully I've never been susceptible to such suggestions.

39:13 But lots of people your tactics. Yeah.

39:18 And they just do the dumbest things in their lives, including

39:21 with their health. And it's just very, very

39:24 important to educate. So to come back to your original

39:28 question with the detox, you have to practice mental detox,

39:33 emotional detox and physical detox every day because you get

39:37 exposed to these toxins every day.

39:39 And so if you don't address it every day, you're not in in pace

39:43 with the degree of toxicity that you're exposed to.

39:47 So again, you have to create that wonderful time management

39:50 skill to address all these things every single day.

39:53 Otherwise it just becomes harder for you.

39:56 Yeah, they just pile up. OK.

40:00 What is your definition of true wealth?

40:03 Oh well, that's well. That can replicate itself every

40:06 month while you sleep. Health is the biggest form of

40:09 wealth. That's true wealth.

40:12 So excellent, optimized health and financial freedom in

40:17 relationships that don't get in the way but nourish you and

40:20 allow you to nourish them. That's true wealth.

40:24 Yeah, like a golden triangle. OK, last one.

40:28 If your younger self could see you now, what would she say?

40:33 If she would laugh because she would never believe that that

40:35 will be possible to accomplish. My younger self was not very

40:39 wise. She would be like, oh, I had a

40:41 nice, nice dream. But yeah, no way.

40:43 That's what she would say, unfortunately.

40:45 Oh, so she's like their family too?

40:48 She was really dense, very, very dense.

40:52 OK, well look at you today, but you have developed so much

40:56 wisdom. You're using your knowledge and

40:58 wisdom to help the people around you.

41:01 So glad you're on mind gland. Really enjoy this conversation,

41:04 Alexandra. Well, likewise, Karens, thank

41:06 you so much for having me. I hopefully we helped your

41:09 listeners get some new insights and get encouraged and inspired.

41:13 Yeah, I will leave your info on the show notes, but what's the

41:17 easiest way for people to get in contact with you?

41:20 After my website, itsholisticselfconfidence.com,

41:24 no dashes, holistic selfconfidence.com, the book is

41:27 available there, The coaching material, I mean the explanation

41:31 of my coaching strategy. My social links are on the

41:34 website as well. The book, the physical copy, is

41:38 available in the US only, but the ebook version, which is

41:41 significantly less expensive, of course, it's available worldwide

41:44 for purchase, and not just on the website but also on Amazon,

41:47 Apple Books, Smash Words, and Barnes and Noble.

41:51 OK, people have accounts there, that's fine.

41:53 But the website is the easiest way to get a hold of me because

41:56 they'll see my YouTube channel there and other media

41:59 appearances and contact information.

42:00 Everything. Holistic.

42:01 Selfconfidence.com. Yeah, there's, like, like I

42:05 said, every single topic. It's a rabbit hole.

42:08 There's so much to explore in every single aspect of the

42:11 health optimization. The listeners hope you learned

42:13 something useful today and it'll make you think twice and maybe

42:17 start changing some habits. Thank you, Alexandra.

42:20 Thank you, Karen. Thank you so much.

42:25 Thanks for listening to this episode of Mind Blend.

42:28 If you enjoyed the conversation, don't forget to follow and share

42:31 it with anyone who needs to hear it.

42:33 And let's keep the conversation going.

42:35 Connect with me on LinkedIn or leave me a comment.

42:38 Until next time, stay curious, keep exploring, and let's

42:42 continue to plan our minds and discover what's possible.